Stepping forward into an abyss...

I'm driving in the middle of the night windows down and sweeter jazz pumping from my speakers, as if I were racing towards those musicians, I could find them if I drove faster and faster yet. In dream fields opening in my mind I find I'm the one racing through time. There's no relevance of it, see, there's an open road running and running and I'm this mirage of speed and pure unavoidable ecstasy. Keep driving, keep pumping into me, thrust up from underneath me and steal my breath away. I'm thinking of a place I want to be and I put myself back there, rewind to the exact same moment, open my eyes and let my hair fall down and crash like cotton waves over the sides of my bare body. Yes I'm free in these arms and draped in neon sheets that wait with me oh so patiently. Yes I am free, discover this last world with me, feel it, heart keep pumping into me fight against this emptiness, against the odds we faced from the beginning, against those goddamn humming hoards of drowning figures with their painkillers and useless ivy league degrees draped over their shoulders as they shovel shit for beans. Fight here with me, against my body. Fight here with me, against my racing veins and coming down in time to meet the rhythm of your wind stroked eyes. Because I loved the smell of that soul next to mine, that I could get close for minutes in sublime powers and please oh pleas of crying exasperation and evaporation into the flying sails I knew were not mine. Oh but the time, it was fine with your weight over mine and I felt for moments so everlastingly able to face wrath of a hundred herds of angry wild horses that would beat over my body whispering one thousand things unkind. How I wanted every moment to be mine, to be able to come and find you when I grew hungry and needed to feel the climb. But now I'm driving in this lonely desert at night and I find no signs , I'm lost forever in time. Just this meager memory who floats away. I made no mistake in that I'm stepping forward into an abyss and I'm setting myself on fire. The weight of the beautiful soul inside you will reach higher than I can ever know, that I feel, that one thing I inherently know. I'm stepping forward into an abyss and I'm setting myself on fire.