The Everlasting Hold of a Heart and a Soul (unrevised)

Within the wasted valley of isolation lay a phantom companion beyond that which the world could tell. He wakes only at the dusty crossroads of light and dark and dances majestic circles around your being. This shadow travels with the hope of only complete truth, never to succumb to the changes of heart which so proven mortals fall. He will not disappear and he promises to stay forever, clutching you to his chest in a near claustrophobic grasp of adoration, admiration, of respect, and of love. The weary traveler bats no lash at the coming of a grotesque reaper, to take before ripe the child in you. He will not struggle in a battle sure to fall, but remind you only of the false hope left over from a starry-eyed juvenile who spent a century incarcerated in unrequited longing. Yes, it is a person buried in that heart, a person who bleeds just as the whole does. A person who consistently dreams, a person who once conceived a notion that people knew him, people must know him so as to be protected. "But people are dangerous." The traveler whispers, "If I know, you've known all along, my love. You are not meant to associate with such giants. Dream, my dear, but dream small for moments of beautiful time will pass by your eyes for many more years. You are only destined to bleed until dry." With that he collapses and fear begs him to cry, "Cry, cry the tears you've held in with such science. Cry until the salty seas within have dried. You are alone now, no one shall see this pain, this anguish, so cry until the sores of younger tears reappear. Cry until the vain blood drains from silk sheets. You remember don't you? You remember. You remember."

And he sobs as he is commanded. Rivers drain from the mountains of his cheeks and merge into a vast lake seeping from his chin. Eyes glowing red now, the reaper whispers his lies, "Now, what do you want more than ever? Reply child, what is it you desire? Freedom? I can promise you freedom if you leave the traveler's arms. I can promise you so much more than he. I have lived over thousands of years. I was birthed at the dawn of time as an idea and I can live forever. I can promise you, a thought never disappears but a soul such as your shadow, he will be forgotten."

"They'll only forget if you leave with him." The traveler whispers as if a lover, confessing the reality he holds in his arms. "Stay. Stay forever and I will stay too. Until the end, my love. Together we will become like water, forever replenished in a cycle of sheer importance to the life it supports. And I will be there with you, always."

He looked up at the sympathetic smile of the traveler and for a moment was lost in the discovery of such a being. So overwhelmed by his comfort and mysterious familiarity that he may as well have been swallowed whole by himself. Absorbed in the beauty of the being holding tight, drawn to the pleasure provided so simply in his arms. He held the traveler even closer now, grasping the weather torn clothing on his back which like burnt paper, crumpled apart and scattered in the air. The traveler smiled and stroked his head. There was a sanctuary in those arms and every stroke to his head comforted the shattered heart being held.

But the reaper wasn't finished. He walked in circles around the huddled mass of heart and of soul and smirked at the pathetic idea of their pairing.

"You cannot stay here forever. Even you know that." He was speaking to the heart with a vicious truth, "You will only grow older, you will whither, and you will die. Why go through more of this pain when the looming of your death is here, you see? You can have relief in that squalor but only if you come with me. Even I know you are unhappy, and you have been for so long. Why suffer? I know the answers you are looking for and I will take you to them but you must let go, child, this has been no place for you anyway."

He felt a rain drop, cool on his head and he looked up to see tears falling from the traveler's eyes. "You have purpose." The traveler whispered in an almost desperate tone, as if he were unsure of it himself, "Stay, my love. Please. You will see the sun, it is there for you and for me, we will taste it and we will let the tang drip down our throats like citrus. We will be glorious. Give it another chance like you have so many a time before. See? See the stars? They are there and we can live among them. We can be like them, it just takes time, my love. Be patient on this road. Don't lose control. You have time. You are young, my child, so young and so many years to go -"

"Years of burning, years of longing, years spent with a leak at the seam." The reaper had interrupted this time enraged with the absurd hope the traveler laid before the heart, "You know better than that. You know you have no business being here. Leave, child. Leave with me and we will search for the place you belong."

He began to back away from the traveler's arms. He could not help but understand that the reaper was correct. For however brief a time, there had been nothing but anguish, nothing but provoking chaos, nothing but a trail of misguided lusting and torture, nothing but a hole that had still to be filled. What if there was nothing to fill that void? What if this was the life that lay out before him? But that is destiny and only fools believe in destiny. Or is it fools who do not? Maybe he did need to leave. Maybe it was time to search for a real home where love, belonging, and importance grew wild from the ground with no natural predator.

"Do you really believe there will be love there?" The traveler had read his thoughts and although an honest question meant to remind him of the reaper's purpose, he couldn't help but hear perhaps a glint of hope like mica among the rocks. "You can't possibly believe him. Look at yourself, who have you trusted in these years? Where has that led you?"

This time he pulled away out of disdain. Who was this thing to judge him for his foolish ways? He looked with disgust at the traveler, but the look merely dropped back to understanding between lovers, for the traveler stared in bewildered sadness.

"I did not mean to hurt you, my love. I only want you to stay. If you go, I shall be forgotten and for that my existence has been taken in vain. You are loved because I love you. You can trust another because you can trust me. I will not tell your secrets, my love, and I know them all. I will never betray you, my dearest. I will hold you for as long as you desire and together we can be one."

The heart looked into the lustrous eyes of the soul. There was love between them, a married understanding of the nature of their being. But they, even together, are so alone in their individuality and unshared, unique sparkle.

"One day, my dear, perhaps one will unlock that and on that day someone may see us as we are and not as perceived. But together we will play a game of hide and seek, and you shall find me when I am needed and I will love you even when hated. If you leave, you know not what lay before you. Your wanderlust is deep and it will not disappear. One day our passion will be returned in heaps of orchids, fragile and beautiful, but everlasting even in the midst of death. Someone will see us and take us to where we belong and we can be free of this sadness. We will know only acres of forest to be explored, only mountains that need be climbed, only freshly fallen leaves to roll amongst. We will drink from springs of life eternal and know only of immortal love. It is there for you, I know. Stay, my love, and we shall unlock the gates to those wonderlands. But first we must search ever so earnestly for the key buried in the soil."

"How dare you punish him further!" The reaper was shouting now in a defiant voice that rang throughout the valley, "Orchids! PAH! Orchids are fleeting, far from everlasting! You foul being! Leave this child in peace now! An orchid will whither from the oil of touch, you know that as well as I! Orchids! Absurd! Child, you must follow me so as to avoid this ridiculous future of helpless hope and of lies from this soul!"

But the heart looked at the traveler who had an honest plea that shone from his eye. He believed in him. He loved him. And so he spoke in passion filled words of wisdom which, although spoken softly, were true and therefore could be heard among the roar of machines and through the muffling of cotton. "But if cared for delicately," his voice carried through the words so faithfully and secure, "an orchid can thrive alone and through patience and sleep, in time new flowers will sprout from the soil around it and that single flower will be lonesome no more."

And the reaper faded from view. The traveler kissed the heart delicately on the forehead and parted ways, looking not back at the heart, but to the ground instead, with a half smile of pride for his lover. The clouds remained in the sky and the valley stayed cold and damp. The ground was covered in a frosty dew that froze naked feet until paralyzed. But a light, small however tenacious, split between the gray seams of the clouds and there was but a slight warmth in that sliver that stood bravely between the hazy, shadowed atmosphere. The heart did not smile and the search over his shoulder at the past did not seize, but the heart took one ever so important, ever so defiant, and ever so courageous step forward in the frozen landscape. He then closed his eyes and began to count. In the distance could be heard the laughter of a traveling soul, echoing over the Earth as he searched for a place to hide.