Letters To A Young Poet

"It seems to me that almost all our sadnesses are moments of tension, which we feel as paralysis because we no longer hear our astonished emotions living. Because we are alone with the unfamiliar presence that has entered us; because everything we trust and are used to is for a moment taken away from us; because we stand in the midst of a transition where we cannot remain standing [...] And that is why it is so important to be solitary and attentive when one is sad: because the seemingly uneventful and motionless moment when our future steps into us is so much closer to life than that other loud and accidental point of time when it happens to us as if from outside. The quieter we are, the more patient and open we are in our sadnesses, the more deeply and serenely the new presence can enter us, and the more we can make it our own, the more it becomes our fate."

~Rainer Maria Rilke~

"I am awake and feel the ache, but I wish I'd see a field below."

~Regina Spektor~

In Bare Quiet

Dividing the spare rations among us,
we've become more of a phantasm
but separate is our illusion.
nursing on words that linger
sparkling above the trees as the storm sets in.
There are giants out here where this road narrows in
and they'll be watching my pockets for a dime
fools in petty crimes
where the air is warm and they take nothing
crows fly low above the scene
twisting all the in-betweens, awaking to choke you back to sleep.
To pull, by a thread, to hold it there
until the weight sinks in
and they can't be held responsible.

All The King's Men (Film, 2006)

"The friend of your youth is the only friend you'll ever have. For he doesn't really see you. He sees in his mind a face which doesn't exist anymore. Speaks a name, 'Spike, Bud, Red, Rusty...Jack,' that belongs to that now non-existent face. He's still the young idealist you used to be, still sees good and bad in black and white and men as sinners or saints but never both and feels superior in the knowledge that you no longer can distinguish the two. That's what drives you to it, to try to stick the knife in. There is a kind of snobbery in failure, like the twist to the mouth of a drunk."

Jack Burden (Jude Law)

This Room And Everything In It

"Lie still now
while I prepare for my future,
certain hard days ahead,
when I'll need what I know so clearly this moment.

I am making use
of the one thing I learned
of all the things my father tried to teach me:
the art of memory.

I am letting this room
and everything in it
stand for my ideas about love
and its difficulties.

I'll let your love-cries,
those spacious notes
of a moment ago,
stand for distance.

Your scent,
that scent
of spice and a wound,
I'll let stand for mystery.

Your sunken belly
is the daily cup
of milk I drank
as a boy before morning prayer.

The sun on the face of the wall
is God, the face
I can't see, my soul,

and so on, each thing
standing for a seperate idea,
and those ideas forming the constellation
of my greater idea.
And one day, when I need
to tell myself something intelligent
about love,

I'll close my eyes
and recall this room and everything in it:
My body is estrangement.
This desire, perfection.
Your closed eyes my extinction.
Now I've forgotten my
idea. The book
on the windowsill, riffled by wind...
the even-numbered pages are
the past, the odd-
numbered pages, the future.
The sun is
God, your body is milk...

useless, useless...
your cries are song, my body's not me...
no good...my idea
has evaporated...your hair is time, your thighs are song...
it had something to do
with death...it had something
to do with love."

~Li-Young Lee~

Religion & Science (my own opinions)

Due to some recent arguments I've either overheard or been in the center of, I've decided to include this essay as a part of my blog. Unfortunately, it is necessary for me to start out with a disclaimer ****I am agnostic. I'm neither for nor against believing in God and spreading the word of peace and serenity in the world. This is strictly my opinion, you are entitled to your own. This is an essay on why religion exists, why people misunderstand it, and why it causes so much conflict. Give it a chance, you're bound to agree with at least one sentence, I'm sure.****

Religion began as an attempt to answer two very important questions in the hearts and minds of humanity: Why are we here? What happens after this?
Somewhere in ancient history someone died and the survived person was daring enough to try and answer those questions. As with any knowledge, it branched off into much more elaborate details and explanations to compliment the answer so that today we have approximately 750 million identifiable religions existing in the world. Of course, some of those religions have extremely noteworthy flaws to their foundation, such as Scientology. However, believing in whatever suits your own needs and feels most accurate to devoting your faith to, is perfectly acceptable no matter what that may be so long as it is not inflicting upon the free will of others. Religions (when interpreted correctly) were never created to spread hatred or war. The top three religions in the world (Christianity, Islam, Judaism) are all peaceful offerings for belief and created to spread harmony in the hope that people may co-exist better if they were given a reason to live better. It's pretty simple and very easy to prove. Proof. This is where science has tried to burst the religion bubble.

There is no solid evidence that supports or disputes the existence of any God or Gods. That is actually a scientific fact. It isn't a safety net either. So we know about evolution, about the universe, but what created the universe. We have the Big Bang Theory almost 100% proven now, but what exactly came before that? There were things floating around to cause that reaction right? Who put those there? How lucky are we to be alive considering the magnitude of the universe and the fact that we haven't contacted anyone else yet? Maybe someone or something did plan this, who knows? Consider the Book of Genesis in the Christian religion and how it begins with the beginning of people. For some, this is enough proof that the Bible is false. However, the Bible was not written by God, it was written by men telling a story from where they think it began....for them. If you want to read a book that is the direct word of God then you must learn Arabic and read the Qur'an. Why? Well, few people actually realize this but the Qur'an is to Islam as Jesus is to Christianity; a miracle. However, it was given to Muhammad in Arabic, therefore every translation could be tainted, it is not directly from God and is therefore not the Qur'an. Allow me to clear something up about the Qur'an:

Islam is an extremely peaceful religion and is probably one of the most liberal and flexible religions in the modern world. Some people would find that hard to believe, when in fact Judaism is actually the most conservative religion. Islamic extremists are actually reading, not the same Qur'an bestowed upon Muhammad to spread the peaceful word of God, but a different Qur'an that has been interpreted incorrectly. I'm not discussing the difference between Shi'ite and Sunni, I am stating the extremist paradox. The children residing in areas run by Islamic extremists grow up to believe that this is the Qur'an, it is their primary education. But how could this be the same Qur'an that the Muslim community who once resided in Spain building advanced cities and educating in mathematics and sciences and spreading poetry read? It isn't. Muslims promoted education, even the education of women, they did not ban it as so many believe. Amazing isn't it? How one group can alter the face of Islam entire.

I shall now state my arguments as to why certain scientists, and certain members of my generation, need to consider re-thinking their deductions on religion. I'm not suggesting suddenly embracing God, I'm suggesting accepting religion for what it is. Without religion, science would not exist. The first true scientists were astronomers. They studied the heavens in an attempt to move themselves closer to the Gods, to understand the Gods and to map the heavens. As everything, it advanced into today's space travel (rather unfortunately scrapped to conquer something unconquerable) and that goes for all sciences as well. Every scientist had the same question that surviving person did, what is the meaning of all of this? See, science is even closer linked to religion than most give it credit for.

There is nothing in the Christian Bible that states that missionaries need forcibly place their religion on others. That is false and has caused many a conflict in the world. But I have found that most people who so adamantly attempt to spread their religions (excluding Jehovah's Witness) have not actually read their holy book. Christians especially. It is not religion which causes wars but rather, the misinterpretation of religion. No where was it written that fighting a crusade is the ticket to heaven. I could be wrong, but I'm agnostic and I've read the Bible.

Raised Catholic, I went to Sunday School and CCD and two hour Saturday Confirmation classes. I've been to Bible study and sat in some of the grandest cathedrals in the world and actually cried at the beauty that was created in a time where things were made by hand over many decades all out of a leap of faith. I cried almost out of jealousy for the devotion of those people living in horrible conditions, building walls of such magnitude and chiseling statues so painstakingly perfect, devotion that I realized I didn't have. I cannot confirm my faith. I don't think I ever will be able to. But even so, I cannot say that Catholicism is really the best choice in religion when there are so many which offer so many glorious lifestyles. I cannot and will not condemn someone for what they believe, there is a very simple reason some people embrace religion: hope. Religion is, believe it or not, a very important part to maintaining society so long as it is interpreted correctly. I will not ever put someone down for having the audacity of faith in something I can't see 100% on. It sounds backwards but, for me, I'd rather do my personal best to live however many short years in this guaranteed place than try so hard my whole life to live up to the standards of being accepted in a place that is not so guaranteed (to me). As I previously stated, I have no problem with religion.

I've studied so many of them and every one that I had the privilege of reading about was so beautiful in its real mission. If you are religious, don't ever stray from what that real mission is, because one foot away is the chaos of Hell on Earth. Keep hope, whether your own or that of a religious one, behind you in your life, whatever you need to believe that everything can and will be better tomorrow. That's the point. There's no real reason why we're here, don't forget to live even if you're so determined to find that reason. Don't hurt others while trying to live, there is never a full on call for selfishness. For me, whatever happens when I die, happens. If the Christian God is there, I will surely give him a hug and put in a good word to those who survived me then be off to wherever he decides I should go. But I don't feel I should worry about that day just now, although some may feel otherwise and that is fine too. Just don't forget that even God gave the power of free will, he probably gave it so that you would use it...kind of like Adam and Eve, God didn't smite them, he just created original sin and moved on. He's kind of like that one really cool teacher that had to punish you somehow but didn't want to destroy your entire spirit. Believe whatever you want, however you want so long as you don't have to hurt anyone by doing so. Even if you believe yourself one of God's children, you still have a life of your own.

Without further delay, a clip from a very thoughtful movie which really relates to this essay a lot (it's funny, you can laugh):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xPzmq2zeWm4

What Stands To Stay

Constant darkness in infinite summers
in the sweet and salty tears that glide
everyday, they'll make rivers,
rivers I can't sail on.
Be prepared to bleed,
between the lines and caged emotions
that seep from the pores and cracks in my skin.
Everyday, brace yourself, force yourself to stay,
stay awake.
It's manageable in the dreams,
to hide the hurt and the scrapes from my own attack
scratching at the doors.
Maybe it's better still, wrapped in arms that don't want
but lust, but to drink what's inside me.
Take it all away.
Chances granted in missing,
but there is no need, no purpose, no use
for these bones.
Haunted everyday, with every move,
shadows will chase me.
I see faces, looking familiar
belonging to strangers
and it rips all the life away.